“Whatever you do, you better not get pregnant.”
“If you get pregnant, you’re on your own.”
“If you get pregnant, you will embarrass our entire family.”
“I can’t believe (name of your choice) got pregnant. I would be so ashamed if that was my child.”
These are just some of the comments and warnings parents message to their children.
Well-meaning Christian parents, wanting the best for their child, will often warn them about the risks of premarital sex and pregnancy. However, these warnings can sometimes come across as threats, or even induce feelings of shame or alienation.
As Christian parents, our heart’s desire is for our children to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual activity with a Godly person. This is in accordance with God’s design and what is best for them, as it fosters emotional and physical intimacy within the context of a committed relationship. However, in guiding our children towards purity, we may unintentionally convey that we will not be a safe place for them if they make decisions that go against our exhortations. It is important to recognize that while waiting until marriage is ideal, sometimes our children make decisions that go against our guidance.
As such, we should strive to create an environment of open communication and trust, where our children feel comfortable coming to us should they make a mistake. By doing so, we can help them navigate this critical juncture in their lives with grace and wisdom, while still upholding our beliefs and values as a family.
It is important to teach the Biblical model of waiting until marriage to have sex. At the same time, it’s important to let our children know that if something happens, we want them to come to us first. We will help them navigate this next season of their life.
Many Christian girls feel compelled to visit abortion clinics because they fear their parents will disown them and that they will bring shame to their family. They believe that abortion is their only option, and they may silently carry the weight of this decision for the rest of their lives.
However, many parents wished their child had come to them so they could have helped them through an unplanned pregnancy. Abortion would not have been their choice for their child or grandchild.
Parents play a significant role in guiding their children towards God’s standards, love, and grace. We are called to speak truth in love and can only do so if we keep the doors of communication wide open with our children.
