“Women are capable of courage, sacrifice and coping with the challenge of an unplanned pregnancy so long as they are given the support they need.”
Paige Cunningham
Fear and despair, feeling alone and hopeless about a situation, wanting to fix the urgent, all lead to quick decisions often resulting in great regret.
Making decisions when we are emotionally overwhelmed and upset causes us to make decisions we perceive will quickly fix our immediate crisis rather than taking time to proactively look into how this decision will affect us now and in the future.
Thinking back to situations in our past, most of us can recall a moment when we thought we were going through the absolute worst circumstances and that we would never recover. And yet, here we are, past that paralyzing moment with the understanding that nothing ever stays the same.
When we are in a moment of crisis, we can make decisions to alleviate the immediate struggle yet often fail to see the years, if not decades, of pain and regret we invite into our lives because we didn’t think through the consequences of our decisions.
Rushing to make decisions in the middle of a crisis results in unhealthy decisions. We end up doing things we never thought we would do.
As author Todd Henry puts it, “You will often do things in your desperation that forfeit your future viability. You may build boxes (or cages) that you have to live in long after your moment of desperation has passed. You make deals with devils.”
When a person finds themselves in a unwanted and unplanned pregnancy, desperation creeps in. It messages that their life is over, that they can’t be a mother or father at this time in life. It tells them that abortion is the quick answer so they can go on with their lives. They are often in a hurry to have the abortion so they don’t have to think about it anymore and so “life can get back to normal.”
Yet, the results are rarely what they had hoped. Waves of regret, sadness, guilt and more overwhelm their today and their future. What they thought was a quick fix became a lasting pain.
One of the greatest gifts we can offer someone in an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy is our support. Encouraging them to slow down and realizing we are in this with them will help them think through their situation. Many choose abortion because they believe they will be alone. As the Church, if we can show her that we will support her, encourage her, and resource her, she will find the courage to welcome this baby as a gift into her life.
The world tells her she can’t be a mother – that she doesn’t have the strength, time, resources and ability to parent her child. Why do we let society weaken women and allow them to feel unable and alone?
Our message to women should be that they are stronger than they think, more courageous than they feel and they are not alone. Let’s commit to support those around us and help them welcome this gift of a beautiful baby into their life.
