Sitting across from couples who recently find out they are pregnant, I have often asked the father of this child what are his thoughts about finding out they are pregnant. More times than not, he will respond, “I will support whatever she chooses.”
While at face value this may seem to be a loving response, but in actuality it’s the opposite. He has been conditioned by our current culture this is the correct thing to say. He has heard the infamous slogan from women, “My body, my choice,” which thereby eliminates his voice from the decision. He has been taught to believe his opinion does not matter and his proper response should be he will support whatever decision she makes.
7 Reasons Why This is Harmful
- It makes the woman feel isolated, solidifying her belief she would parenting alone.
- It further divides their relationship. They are no longer one entity making life decisions. They are individuals making decisions for themselves alone.
- It removes him as the protector of his child.
- It removes him as the provider for the mother.
- It releases him of responsibility for his own child.
- It allows him to live as a careless child and not as a grown man.
- It causes him to feel as if he is expendable and does not matter.
What most women really want, and what his child needs, is for him to step up and commit to bearing the responsibility to care, protect and provide for her and their child.
On numerous occasions while working with couples struggling with an unplanned pregnancy, we have witnessed that if the father of the baby will take a stand for the life of their child and commit to caring for them both, the mother will choose life for their child. She wants to be assured she will not bear the responsibility alone and he will commit to helping her raise their child.
As the church, we have the beautiful opportunity to message and empower the men of our congregation to take responsibility for loving and caring for their child and the mother of their child. He carries the greatest influence over her decision. Women and men will be spared the pain of an abortion decision and preborn lives will be saved as the church calls, equips and empowers men to take their rightful place of protection and provision. All will be better for it: the father, the mother and the child.
For further reading on this topic, take a look at this article from Focus on the Family HERE.
